The Beginning of my Writing Journey
Lately there’s been this calling on repeat in my head: “Consume Less. Create More.” You could call it a directive even. Some part of my subconscious telling me that there needs to be an outlet for all the consuming and processing of information that has been going on in my brain. Another way to put it, maybe, is to release the pressure. This has been happening for more than a year and it’s only now that I’m seriously considering creating and creating more.
There was a time maybe 10 or 15 years ago, when my primary means of (media) consumption was social media, primarily Facebook and binge watching TV shows (Dexter anyone?). Facebook did allow me to share some creative aspects of myself. I dabbled with photography for a short while, and used it to share my creations. But moreso, I liked the “likes”. I checked my posts several times a day to see how many thumbs-ups I’d gathered. And instead of inspiring more creativity and making me want to do more, it just got me addicted to the likes. I also got addicted to seeing other people’s lives and then I started to feel not so good about my own. It was also not helpful that I was so addicted to Facebook (plus the games it offered, Farmville specifically), that I was not really progressing in my job and career. My relationships with friends and family felt shallow. And so around the time my first child was born, I disabled my Facebook account and after about a year I deleted it (once I figured out how to). Binge-watching automatically took a backseat. Also, interestingly enough, dark shows about blood and murder became much less appealing once motherhood set in. I had one more baby the following year, and suddenly there was not a whole lot of time for any kind of media consumption. And though I vowed to write in my journal more regularly it was not happening quite enough.
Returning to work after my second maternity leave, I felt like I was killing it. I was offered a lead role (a chance to awaken my hibernating smarts) and not having Facebook as a distraction helped to focus better. There were other distractions that started to infiltrate my focus however: news sites, LinkedIn, games on my phone. And then as I became ingrained in my Miss Smartypants lead role, work inputs started to take over: meeting after meeting, non-stop emails, trainings, PowerPoints! So much input that even listening to the radio (NPR, music) during my 15 minute commute became too much. All the inputs of my job became so overwhelming, I didn’t turn on the radio in the car, I cut out a lot of TV watching and also Kindle reading. My life was now revolving around my job and the leftovers was dedicated to my family, and what ever crumbs of time I had left (very little), I tried to use them for my friends. In the efforts to reduce my consumption, I had also cut out many of the things that made me happy. And still not writing in my journal.
Now, it’s not all doom and gloom. Things at work did cool down enough that I managed to finish 2 seasons of Jack Ryan and 3 seasons of The Marvelous Mrs Maisel. But also, we were planning a massive move, to another continent. (I’ll save the details for another time.) And though writing about the stresses and worries of moving and everything else at least in a journal might have helped, I was just not able to get myself to pick up a pen and write even though there was an inkling of an urge there. I have maybe 2 or 3 journal entries from that time period (~5 years or so).
Leaving my job, and then eventually moving to Australia from the US, was a stressful but also transformative time. Once we arrived in Australia I didn’t have the same kind of stresses holding me back, all the work inputs that were overloading my brain were no longer an issue. I decided to stay home for a while and focus on family. Over the weeks and months, my brain was able to think on it’s own again, and not rely on constant inputs from social media, news sites and other media. Walking and spending time in nature also helped open up the passages in my brain allowing me to think more freely. I also made record number of journal entries. Now I’m no hermit. I still have my NY Times subscription, I still doomscroll occasionally, and LinkedIn still exists. I’m watching shows again but in small doses. But the point is, I’ve learned to listen to my thoughts and control my impulses. When I start to doomscroll, I catch myself and put the phone away. I’ve read more physical books in this year than I did in the past 5 years (Ego is the Enemy, Atomic Habits to name a few). I go out for walks with minimal distractions, just paying attention to my surroundings allowing my thoughts to go wherever they want.
The free thinking is what has led me here. To my first Medium article. How else will I know if writing is the thing for me, until I actually write something and let people see it? After consuming my fair share of Medium articles and applauding those who write, I’ve decided I also want to contribute to the writer community and share my stories, because there are many. Consuming content is good, but we need limits. As we churn through content, we’re being told stories from other peoples’ perspectives, and sharing our own viewpoints can only help by forging understanding and empathy in those who read them. So here’s to creating more.